Super Random Bros
by CrashGuy01
Summary: Short but rather random anecdotes about the stuff that goes down at the Smash Mansion.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter I**

It was a peaceful day at the Smash Mansion...or so it was.

"PIT COME QUICK!" Sonic shouted from the garage. "There's a black widow!"

"Aw sweet!" Pit entered the garage in no hurry. "Scarlett Johannson is here?"

"No...I'm not referring to a superhero or anything. I need to to assist me in killing this."

Sonic pointed to the black widow, which was hiding underneath a wheelbarrow.

"I don't think we should kill that spider," stated Pit.

"Whaddaya mean, we shouldn't kill it?" frowned Sonic.

"It could be a mother..."

"That's good. We'll kill the spider's babies once we're through with killing it!"

"She's not an it, she's a her!" Pit rushed over to the black widow and shielded it from Sonic. "I won't let you lay a finger on her!"

"You're making a huge mistake here..."

Meta Knight, who happened to walk by, saw what was going on as he passed by. He shook his head as he entered the living room of the mansion.

"What's going on over there?" asked Robin, who was sitting on a sofa, reading his spellbook.

"Sonic and Pit are in the garage are arguing over whether or not they should kill a stupid spider," explained Meta Knight.

"We have a garage?"

"Good thing I wasn't the only one here who thought that..."

Back in the garage, Pit stood up as he held the black widow in one hand, and petting it with the other.

"From this day forth, I'll keep this dear spider under my watch!" he announced.

"This is so disappointing," Sonic facepalmed as he shook his head in disgust.

* * *

Pit took the black widow to his room placed it - erm, her - in a box.

"I'll call you...Zoey!" Pit named the spider.

"Yo, Pit, I need your help!" Link entered Pit's room. "I need a pseudo name."

"What for?"

"King Dedede is having a party, and he won't invite me and Marth. So we're gonna disguise as Waddle Dees, and enter the party. Right now we need some good names."

"Uh..."

"Got any suggestions? Also, why are you about to start a tea party?"

"None of your business."

"Woah Pit, that's a awesome name! Those Waddle Dees will never see it through! All I need now is a fake name for Marth..."

Link belched out of the blue, and didn't even excuse himself.

"Manners, please?" Pit scolded Link.

"Yet another awesome name! Thanks Pit, you're the best!"

Link happily shook Pit's hand before he left the room - skipping.

"Weirdo," Pit smirked.

* * *

Link and Marth - both in Waddle Dee disguises - made their way to King Dedede's party, which was held inside a tent of sorts. A Waddle Doo was at the entrace.

"You stay here; I'll see if this Waddle Doo is easy to breeze by," Link told Marth.

"Don't take too long, I'm burning up in this thing!" said Marth.

So Link trotted over to the Waddle Doo, who was serving as a bodyguard.

"Name sir," Waddle Doo said to Link.

"None of your business," responded Link.

"Is that how you gonna be?! Where are your manners?!"

"Far from here."

A while later, Link returned to Marth, after the Waddle Doo took his costume off and beat him senseless.

"He saw though my disguise," moaned Link.

"Told you this was a bad idea," remarked Marth.

* * *

Back to Pit. The lad was outside at a swingset, pushing his new pet spider Zoey on a swing. Dark Pit walked by, and perceived Pit pushing an imaginary being.

"Watcha doing, playing with your imaginary friend?" Dark Pit mocked his counterpart.

"Zoey's not imaginary, she's an eight-legged friend!" defended Pit.

"You're _still_ hanging out with that dumb spider? Sonic was right, you have lost your mind..."

"That's what you think!"

While Pit was arguing with his doppelganger, Lucas walked over to the swingset and sat on a swing...the same swing Zoey was on.

"ZOEY!" Pit screamed when he saw Lucas sit on the swing. "NOOOO!"

The winged lad rushed to the swing, pushing Lucas off and searching for Zoey.

"You killed Zoey!" Pit sobbed. Lucas felt somewhat remorseful.

"I'm sorry?" he apologized.

"Don't feel sorry, you murderous fiend!"

"Yeah, I'll just leave now..." Lucas got up and awkwardly walked off.

"Man, what a dweeb..." Dark Pit shook his head at a sobbing Pit.

* * *

Later that day, everyone in the Smash Mansion was invited (or in this case, forced) to attend Zoey's funeral.

"Zoey was a good spider..." Pit wiped away tears as he reminisced on the short time he had with his pet spider.

"You're taking this a little too far," Diddy Kong said to Pit.

"No I'm not."

"Okay then, guess you'll have to find out on your own..."

"Pit I need to speak with you for a minute," Snake grabbed Pit and escorted him to the front of the mansion. "Lucas wasn't responsible for killing your pet spider."

"He wasn't?!" Pit's eyes widened.

"Your spider happened to crawl off the swing and crawled away. And then..."

"What happened next?"

"...Falco stepped on her!"

"That monster! I will find him and give him a piece of my mind!"

* * *

Pit searched through the Smash Mansion for Falco, wearing a bandanna around his head and arming himself with a Nerf gun. He spotted Pac-Man exiting his room.

"Where is Falco?" Pit interrogated the yellow man.

"How am I supposed to know?" Pac-Man shrugged.

"LIES!" Pit fired at Pac-Man. The yellow man collapsed to the ground, like he was seriously injured or something.

"Looks like the end for me..." Pac-Man heaved as Pit continued his search.

Soon enough, he found Falco in the bathroom. The falcon was busy washing his hands, when...

"HIYAH!" Pit roundhouse kicked Falco in the face, knocking him to the floor.

"What in the heck?" Falco rubbed his beak as he got up. Pit set up Falco in an Attitude Adjustment, and performed the move as he threw Falco out of the bathroom window.

"My car!" Captain Falcon shrieked from outside. Pit heavily exhaled as Snake entered the bathroom.

"The murderer has been taken care of," Pit told Snake.

"Too bad it was the wrong one," chuckled Snake.

"Say what...?"

"Lucas was responsible for killing your pet spider this whole time. I just wanted to mess with you, that's all."

Snake received an Attitude Adjustment, courtesy of Pit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter II**

"I got two tickets to Disney World," Fox held up two tickets for everyone gathered in the living room to see. "Who wants to come?"

"Will there be any hot babes?" Wario grinned as he rubbed his hands together.

"Hot babes are a given, Wario."

Wario held his head in sadness.

"Eh, I guess I'll tag along," offered Shulk.

"Excellent! We have less than thirty minutes to pack."

"Have you already packed yet?"

Fox looked to the side with guilt.

* * *

Fox and Shulk arrived at Disney via Landmaster. At the entrance, they were approached by Mickey Mouse.

"Hello you two!" greeted the mouse. "Welcome to..."

"DIE YOU FIEND!" Shulk attacked poor Mickey with his xenoblade.

"Woah dude, chill," Sonic restrained his buddy from doing more damage. Minnie, Donald, and Goofy appeared.

"They're everywhere! Everywhere, I tell you!"

"Is everything here alright?" a security guard approached the two brawlers.

"No sir, my friend's just going insane, that's all," chuckled Sonic.

"Hmph. Fine then. Enjoy your time here."

* * *

Fox and Shulk started off their Disney World trip by going on one of the rides - the Walt Disney World Railroad. Shulk was being rather annoying as he was on the ride.

"We're all gonna die!" he screamed as he kept hugging Fox, garnering the attention of everyone on the train. "Every man for himself!"

"Chill out, it's just a train ride," assured Fox.

"What if there is an accident?"

Soon enough, the train ride rammed into a Snorlax, sleeping on the railroad tracks.

"Alright, so it's just some dumb Snorlax," shrugged Fox. "What else could possibly happen?"

A comet struck the train ride. All the riders were blown away.

"This can't be the only time a comet struck this place!"

"Yo, Doug, did we have another comet strike here?" an employee asked the conductor.

"Fifth one this month," replied the conductor.

"Now what were you saying?" Shulk smirked at Fox.

* * *

The next ride the two went on was a roller coaster. Shulk was screaming at the top of his lungs...even though the ride hasn't started yet.

"Will you stop that?!" Fox scolded as the riders buckled in their seat belts.

"Sorry I was trying to get my screams out," apologized Shulk.

"Save your screaming until the ride starts."

A few seconds later, the ride began...and Shulk began screaming.

"SHULK!"

"B-But you said..." stuttered Shulk.

"You know what, forget about it."

"You want me to forget screaming? Is that even possible?"

Fox facepalmed.

The ride ended after three laps. Fox had a crazed look on his face.

"That ride was AWESOME!" he pumped his fists in the air. "Don't you think so Shulk?"

Fox turned to Shulk, whose face was red. Not to mention his mouth was closed.

"...Everything alright, buddy?"

Fox poked Shulk's cheek, causing his mouth to open.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Shulk let out a huge scream.

"Dude..." Fox shook his head at Shulk.

"You told me to forget screaming, so I tried to do just that by holding my screams in. But when..."

"Let's just go," Fox grabbed Shulk and quickly exited the ride.

* * *

Fox and Shulk ventured throughout Disneyland, until an attraction caused Fox to stop and gasp.

"The Jonas Brothers are having a concert!" he squealed.

"YOU like the Jonas Brothers?" questioned Shulk.

"They're my guilty pleasure!"

Fox grabbed Shulk's arm as he ran to join the crowd. The Jonas Brothers were performing onstage, and Shulk appeared to be miffed by the lyrics.

 _I'm stepping into the fire  
And I'm tryna keep from going under  
Baby you turn the temperature higher  
Cause I'm burning up, burning up  
For you baby..._

"ARREST THOSE FOOLS!" shouted Shulk.

"Are you trying to start a scene?!" frowned Fox.

"These cretins are attempting to promote arson. They deserve to be put in their place immediately!"

Soon a bunch of security guards confronted Shulk. The Xenoblade wielder gave several guards a karate chop to the head, and put one of the guards in a Walls of Jericho.

* * *

Following the beating, Fox and Shulk were ousted from Disneyland.

"This is all your fault," Fox grumbled. But Shulk was unable to listen to him.

"You'll be hearing from my lawyer!" Shulk shook his fist at the Disneyland management.

"You don't have a lawyer."

"I know..." Shulk held his head in sadness.

* * *

Fox and Shulk returned to the Smash Mansion after a long trip home. They entered the dining room, where Lucina and Bowser were present.

"So how did the trip go?" Lucina asked the two.

"Shulk got us banned from the amusement park..." moaned Fox.

"Banned from Disneyland?" exclaimed Bowser. "How awesome!"

"How is getting banned awesome?" questioned Lucina.

"It just makes you look cool and radical!"

"And you wonder why you always lose to Mario..." remarked Fox. Bowser was about to fight Fox, but Lucina restrained him from doing so.

"I had such a great time at Disneyland," Shulk told Fox. "We should go to the Universal Resort someday!"

"Nope nope nope nope nope," Fox walked way from Shulk real quick.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter III**

Mario, Lucario, Captain Falcon, Olimar, and Mr. Game and Watch were all balling out on the basketball court. Captain Falcon crossed over Olimar as he headed to the basket.

"Mama mia!" exclaimed Mario as Olimar fell on the ground. "Olimar just got his ankles broken!"

"Oh my poor ankles!" the spaceman grabbed his ankles. "They were so young..."

"Who cares about your stupid ankles!" remarked Captain Falcon. "I'm gonna take y'all to school!"

"If you say so..." sighed Lucario.

"I'll be right back fellas," Mr. Game and Watch headed back to the Smash Mansion to retrieve something.

* * *

Inside the mansion, Grantor happened to be talking to someone on the phone.

"Oh no she didn't!" he said as he snapped his fingers. Mr. Game and Watch caught his attention. "I have to go now...K bye!" Grantor hung up the phone.

"...Who were you talking to?" Mr. Game and Watch felt concerned.

"Zant, of all people," replied Grantor. The 2D hero blanked out, before coming back to his senses.

"Where did Master Hand put all the Gatorade?"

"In the hallway closet."

Mr. Game and Watch went to the hallway closet and grabbed two bottles of Gatorade.

* * *

When he came back outside, he saw a schoolhouse next to the basketball court. Captain Falcon was _literally_ taking his opponents to school.

"What in the..." Mr. Game and Watch was absolutely dumbfounded as he neared the schoolhouse. He entered said schoolhouse, and saw Captain Falcon teaching Mario, Lucario, and Olimar.

"You DARE interrupt class?!" scolded Captain Falcon.

"But all I just..."

"Interrupt my class one more time and I'll have to cancel class go back to golfing! Let's begin!"

The first lesson involved putting together a wooden table. (It makes sense in context.) Mario rested the board on the legs of the table.

 _"_ He forgot to use wood glue!" Mr. Game and Watch said quietly as the table came apart.

"Oh man, I'll never pass this class if stuff like this happens!" sobbed Mario.

"I have to learn to speak up!" Mr. Game and Watch randomly kicked Lucario in the shin.

"Next lesson!" Captain Falcon wrote the rather complex equation on the chalkboard. "I betcha y'all can't solve this problem! You probably don't know more than a bunch of funyuns!"

"The answer to your equation is 12," answered a random funyun. The four students started eating the funyuns.

"Just to let you know, Captain Falcon cooked these funyuns in soy sauce," Lucario told Mr. Game and Watch. The 2D fellow nearly puked.

"Get me the mayonnaise!" Mr. Game and Watch delivered yet another random kick to Lucario's shin.

"Why me?" moaned Lucario.

"I'm taking over this class now!" Olimar pushed Captain Falcon away and wrote 1 + 1 on the board. "Whoever can solve this problem will graduate!"

"Oh that problem is easy, it's..." Mr. Game and Watch began.

"Wrong answer!"

"But I didn't even..."

"I SAID IT'S WRONG!" Olimar gave Mr. Game and Watch a swift uppercut.

"Math hurts!" the 2D man remarked as he fell on the ground.

"This is absolutely the worst school I've ever been to!" frowned Lucario. "And I've never even attended one! So you know what we need?"

"What?" questioned Captain Falcon.

"...A basketball team!"

"Well I would try out for the basketball team but I've told the head coach I've joined the cooking team, so..." Mr. Game and Watch trailed off. "...Anyone wanna try my spicy hot chili?"

"Never!" Olimar gave Mr. Game and Watch yet another uppercut.

"Cooking hurts!" the 2D man remarked as he fell on the ground a second time.

"Is everything alright in there?" Zelda knocked on the schoolhouse door.

"It's a cold blue!" Captain Falcon announced. "Everyone hide in the basement!"

So everyone hid inside the basement as Zelda entered the schoolhouse without permission. She saw a funyun on Mario's desk.

"This looks delicious!" Zelda headed over to Mario's desk and ate the funyun.

"YOU ATE MY FUNYUN!" Mario came out from the basement with a missile launcher in hand.

"Calm down Mario it's not that serious..."

Mario didn't listen; he fired a missile at the princess, effectively blowing up the schoolhouse in the process.

"I've always knew the basement would come in handy!" Captain Falcon emerged from the basement along with the others.

"Where's Mario and Zelda?" wondered Olimar.

"Over there!" Lucario pointed to Mario, who was on a hill with Zelda over his shoulders.

"Sayonara losers!" Mario jeered as he ran off with Zelda.

"Oh no you don't!" Link randomly appeared and chased after Mario.

* * *

That night, everything returned to normal. Mario was no longer insane, Zelda was safely returned to the Smash Mansion, and all traces of the destroyed schoolhouse vanished.

"Did any of you learn anything today?" Captain Falcon asked his four former students in the dining room.

"Teaching school here at the Smash Mansion isn't worth it?" Mr. Game and Watch said.

"Eh, I guess you're right..."

"Guys we have an emergency!" Pac Man confronted the five students. "So I've just learned that Lucas and Ness are _children_! I need your help in building a schoolhoue so we could give them proper teaching while they..."

At the sound of the word "schoolhouse", the five individuals quickly left the dining room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter IV**

Master Hand gathered all the brawlers in the mansion around a large table for a very important meeting.

"Independence day is just around the corner, and I need your participation for the cookout," the hand explained.

"But we're not even on American soil!" Luigi pointed out.

"Did I ask for any of your backtalk mister? Leave the premises NOW!"

"It always has to be me..." Luigi sighed as he left the table.

"How are we going to celebrate Independence Day to begin with?" questioned King Dedede. "We don't even have a grill!"

"Which is why you're buying one," replied Master Hand.

"D'oh!"

"Peach will be responsible for the decorations. Pit will buy the food. Can I trust you two?"

"You betcha!" saluted Pit.

"You can count on us!" said Peach.

* * *

The next day, Master Hand was arranging the decorations for the 4th of July cookout. Red, white, and blue decorations were everywhere.

"Where's Pit with the food?" Patulena wondered.

"Right here!" Pit entered the Smash Mansion, carrying a boatload of food, which he poured out on the kitchen table. Patulena sorted through the groceries.

"Pit, who eats spaghetti on Independence Day?" Patulena held up a box of pasta and a bag of meatballs.

"People who wants to eat less cholesterol and more healthy stuff!"

"Healthy stuff?" Wario overheard Pit and proceeded to fight him before Donkey and Diddy Kong restrained him from doing so. "Them fighting words!"

"What is this?!" Master Hand sorted through the groceries. "Celery sticks? Mac n Cheese? Waffles? Where's the hot dogs, burgers, potato chips, and such?"

"Nobody wants to eat that unhealthy crap!" attested Pit.

"I WANT TO EAT THAT UNHEALTHY CRAP!" bellowed Wario.

"Yo, Master Hand, I know what might cheer you up..." Ike appeared in front of Master Hand - who was agitated - along with the Pokemon Trainer, Wolf, and Shadow the Hedgehog - the latter who was invited to the Independence Day party. "...a whip dance!"

"What..." Master Hand just watched as the four performed the Whip dance for Master Hand.

"No need to fear, Master Hand!" Mega Man entered the Smash Mansion with the right food for the cookouit. "I bought some food in the middle of the night in case Pit screwed things up."

"Whoever said I was gonna screw things up?" Pit put his hands on his hips. "I'm just trying to promote healthy lifestyles and habits!"

"He used the H word again!" Wario got even angrier. "Let me at him, let me at him!"

"First Ike and his pals are doing some weird dance, and now Wario wants to fight Pit," sighed Master Hand. "Could things get any worse?"

There was a knock at the door. Samus answered the door.

"The special entertainment is here!" she called out.

"Special entertainment?" Master Hand was confused. "I never hired any special entertainment!"

Soon Phineas and Ferb entered the Smash Mansion and approached Master Hand.

"Hello there!" greeted Phineas. "My name is..."

"Begone with you!" Master Hand flicked both Phineas and Ferb, sending them out of the mansion.

"Master Hand, that wasn't very nice!" Peach appeared and scolded Master Hand. "How dare you hurt innocent children!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"How about this: you chill out and socialize with the male brawlers, while us ladies sort things out regarding the cookout. Got it?"

"Yeah, sure, maybe that will keep my mind off of things..."

So while Peach, Zelda, Samus, Lucina, Rosalina, and Patulena dealt with the organization of the cookout, Master Hand went to go converse with Ike.

"I gotta admit, that was a great whip you did there," Master Hand complimented Ike and the others' whip dance.

"You betcha it's a nice whip!" Ike, who didn't know Master Hand was referring to his dance, pulled out a whip and proceeded to whip the giant hand with it. The Pokemon Trainer, Wolf, and Shadow joined in as well.

"What is going on?!" Rosalina went to go investigate what was going on. "Stop it this instant!" She then confronted Ike and his pals, and restrained them from whipping Master Hand. "What has gotten into you all?!"

"Well, Master Hand said I had a great whip, so I had to show him - by force - how great my whip was!"

"I was only complimenting your dance!" stated Master Hand.

"Maybe if you were more specific, we wouldn't have whipped you in the first place!" retorted Shadow.

"Like, this is a weird mansion to be living in, don't you think Scoob?" Shaggy, who randomly was sitting on a couch, asked his trusty pal, Scooby Doo.

"Yeah!" Scooby nodded in agreement.

"WHY ARE THOSE TWO BOZOS IN MY MANSION?!" boomed Master Hand.

"Did you not read the title of this story?" questioned the Pokemon Trainer. "It reads, 'Super Random Bros'. Almost anything can happen, anything is possible."

"ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!" Wolf yelled at the top of his lungs, channeling his inner Kevin Garnett. "Sorry if that disturbed anyone."

"Let's get out of here Scoob!" Shaggy left the Smash Mansion along with Scooby Doo, highly concerned for his safety and well-being.

"Hehe.." King Dedede confronted Master Hand, though she was overwhelmed with nervousness.

"Anything wrong?" questioned Master Hand.

"While we were preparing the food..."

"I destroyed it all!" Pit yelled from afar. "No non-nutritional food to be found!"

"...Bring Pit here," commanded Master Hand. King Dedede ordered on of his Waddle Dees to retrieve the winged lad.

"Wassup?" Pit held out his hand, expecting some dap from Master Hand. All he received was a finger slick that send him out of the mansion.


End file.
